Behind the Scenes : How do I like Texas?

I get asked the above question a lot.  By almost every single person I tell that we just moved here from Florida.  I guess it's natural, but my answer is a lot more complicated than the casual aquantances I've met so far really want to hear.  Or at least I'm guessing so.

So, how do I like Texas?

Let's start with the obvious.  (Yes, random family pictures of mostly Kalia are going to pop up throughout this post that make absolutely no sense because it's a sin to have a post without pictures, and she is just too darn cute to not share!)

The weather.

recent trip out to San Fran.

It's wonky so far.  You have to understand that I was born and raised in Florida.  The coldest place I'd ever lived was Gainesville, FL.  I owned a pair of jeans and two sweat shirts when I went to college.  I'm used to warm, midly hot, hot, extremely hot, and there's a hurricane coming type of weather.

so proud of herself for emptying out the wipes container...oiy.

I was freezing when we came up here in April for our house hunting trip and only had jeans and a sweater, no jacket.  April ... cold?  What??

Kalia and I arrived at temporary living April 26th.  That gave us a good solid week of normal sometimes cool sometimes enjoyable weather.  Then the tornadoes came.  And we were in a rickety apartment.  The weather people told us to head to our storm shelter and put our cars in the garage.  Umm...what's a storm shelter?  I'm used to having hurricane parties because everything shuts down for DAYS before the storm arrives and DAYS after it leaves.  The whole "you've got 5 minutes, there's a crazy thing coming up, RUN!!!" with an almost 2 year old and an anxious yellow lab who hates any rain storms was kind of freaky.  And even though this is a mild summer, it is HOT HOT HOT here!

And I hated the apartment.  That didn't help, although that really has nothing to do with Texas.  The maintenance guys would just come in without giving you a call ahead to say they were coming.  Then they started showing up in multiples.  I'm pretty sure it doesn't take 3 grown men to fix a drainage issue in the bathtub.  I felt vulnerable and so so alone in that apartment.  When I went for jogs, I'd see weird people in the woods next to the jogging path, and that totally freaked me out too, so I stopped doing that as well.

So the first month I went to a bad place.  I knew nobody here, most stay at home Mom's aren't in apartments so I didn't meet anyone at the apartment complex, and Kodi and Kalia were pretty freaked out by the apartment, so I didn't really do as much exploring as I would've liked to with Kalia.  She is such a strict schedule kinda gal too, which makes just getting up and exploring rather hard.  Oh, and I didn't have a smart phone when I first got there, and my only computer was packed away in storage.  So I had no internet access until Chris came home from work to look up what to do either.

Should've probably stopped this prior to getting the pic - oh well!

And I went to a bad place.  Which means I shut down.  I tried to not shut down with Kalia, but she's a smart little girl and I know she picked up on a lot of it.  I tried to be fun and cheery and the best I could for her, but that was probably about 30% of the normal me, which wasn't fair to her.

Again, nothing to do with Texas.

Then we moved into our house.  My MIL came, I got to go on a date night with Chris for our anniversary, I got to get our home setup to be a home instead of just a place we lived, and I felt good.  I literally felt this huge weight just lifted.  I ventured all over the place to meet people.  Pools, parks, our neighborhood...anywhere someone returned a smile, I talked to them and told them we were new and knew no one and almost every time that someone got my number or email and got in touch with me inviting us out to go do this or go do that.

My funk lifted, Kalia's didn't.  That month that I closed up in the apartment and just talked to her, she closed up and just talked to Chris and I too.  And she's old enough to really really miss her old friends and neighbors and old activities we used to do, but not old enough to understand why we can't do them anymore or see those people every day or every week like we used to.  So she stopped talking to anyone other than people she knew, which after my MIL left, consisted of Chris and I.

She would cry when other kids would talk to her and cling to one of us like they were monsters.  If we pushed, she bawled crying.  It's pretty hard to make friends with people when you're child is crying because they look at her or heaven forbid talk to her.

And I felt terrible.  I felt like such a bad Mom...I felt like I failed in explaining things or preparing her for all of the change that was about to take place.  I felt selfish for closing up in that apartment.

Again, nothing to do with Texas.

Here's the problem.  I have an amazing group of friends.  I am so so blessed to have the quality and quantity of girl friends that I do.  All but two of them lived in the Tampa Bay area with me.  One of them even moved TO Tampa the month or so before I left.  My best friend since 4th grade lives there with her husband who I was good friends with in high school and college.  We played volleyball together, from junior high until I moved to Texas.  My old neighbors were some of the most amazing people.  They became my family.  One of them came WITH US to our volleyball games to watch Kalia for MONTHS until I felt comfortable leaving Kalia at home without us.  Who does that?  Who does that that isn't your Mom or sisters anyways??  And speaking of them, even though no one lived in our area, all of our family was a car ride away.  We could be there in a few hours (a little bit more than a few for Chris's family, but still easily driveable), and now we're pushing it to make it to see just Chris's folks and his brothers family by car.  My family is most definitely a plane ride.  And so are all of our friends.

And I didn't realize how hard it was to actually meet friends when you have a child.  I've made exactly one new friend since Kalia's birth.  She has become one of my very best friends, but just one.  Sure, I've made acquaintances, but not the same as the girls you call to vent and laugh and cry and go for coffee or a drink or have over when you're in your pj's and no makeup on.  I had an entire handful of those girls in Tampa, and most of them had kids around Kalia's age.  She had real friends that she has grown up with and that she really misses.

So I guess what I'm saying is that Texas people are some of the nicest people that I've ever met.  They're warm and caring and generous and welcoming.  And I miss my friends.  A lot.  And so does Kalia.

I love how outdoorsy Texas is, I love how everywhere I turn there is parks and playgrounds and community activities.  I love that all of my neighbors here brought us welcoming food and made it a point to introduce themselves.  I love that there are kids everywhere here.

I really miss my friends and my old neighborhood and the close proximity of our family though.

I knew well before I shared with anyone that we were leaving Florida.  The jobs just weren't there, and if I'm afforded the luxury of being able to do what I want and what makes me happy, and I can do that anywhere, my husband deserves to do what he loves and makes him happy as well.  I was so excited and optimistic about the move.  I looked at it as a gift.  Everywhere I've lived, I've made new friends, and everywhere I've gone, I've taken them with me.  Regardless of if they lived there or not.  So it's a gift that I get to make more friends and keep the ones I have.

It's hard too though.  Because you don't make those friends over night or over a few months.  Those types of friendships take awhile to develop.  I've never lived anywhere where I knew zero people outside of my immediate family.  I always had a base that I grew on.  Texas is starting from ground zero.

And I know they'll come.  I know those friendships will come, and I know Kalia will recover and grow and learn from this too.  I know that it'll unite us as a family closer because we only have each other to hold onto.  One of my friends told me the other day that I have to get out without Kalia.  That I need to take a Mommy break for myself, or to go hang out with one of my new friends I've made.  Another one told me that it's fine for me to be the only friend to a 2 year old, but it is not fine for my only friend to be a 2 year old.  I miss those friends.  They're here, they're just not here. 

I realize I sound whiney.  I promise not to be all the time on any future behind the scenes posts, but this is just real.  Just raw.  Just me.

I know, buck up Kara.

Kalia started talking to kids again on the 4th of July.  Slowly at first, just the boy across the street.  But she's gradually talked to a few more kids, and we've even had new friends over for a playdate and been to their house for a playdate.  She takes about an hour to warm up, but she's getting there.  Adults are no go's though.  Except for the Mom of the new friends and the little boy's parents across the street.  We talk about it a lot.  She tells me she's scared of people.  I tell her I'm always here and they're not scary and she can hold my hand extra tight, but that we need to start talking to people again.  She's making progress.  We're making friends.

So, I like Texas.  I just really miss my friends! I guess the moral of my story is: if my friends were crappier, my life would be easier right now!  :-)

I'll be back later this week to share kitchen pictures, so stay tuned for that!  Happy hump day guys!

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.

H E L L O W O R L D

Gosh, how I've missed this blog...

I write posts in my head to it all of the time. Occasionally I sit down and actually start a post on a project, but then Kalia wakes up from her naps and needs me, and the moment and train of thought are gone. To be completely honest, I kind of have writers block with this blog right now. I mean, where do I start off? Do I just talk about my projects and ignore the fact that I've been M.I.A? Do I tell you about what I've been doing in the meantime?

For those of you that are strictly here for projects, those posts are coming. We've done so much to the house over the past few months, all of which I do plan on posting about.

For those of you that have emailed and commented asking how things are going, this post is for you.

Last month was a big one. I quit my job, turned 30, and became a stay at home Momma. I'm breast feeding Kalia, and she's never taken a bottle. So working (albeit from home, which was both nice and a nightmare at times) while being my little girls sole source of nutrition left me at the breaking point a few times. My sister in law asked how I was doing with it one day and I told her it was like a juggling act, but I kept dropping all of the balls. I didn't feel like I could give 100% to either work or Kalia, so something had to give. Being an Electrical Engineer isn't exactly a mind-numbing career, and trying to design and debug computer chips while nursing Kalia was just...beyond challenging.

I am so blessed and fortunate that we're in the position for me to walk away from my job. One of the reasons we waited 5 years before starting to build on our mini family was so that I could take this option if I wanted to. If you knew me in high school or college, I used to say I was never getting married and never having kids. I've got a million private reasons why I used to say that, but the bottom line was I hadn't met the right man that I could see forever with. And then when I did meet him, I wanted to make sure we were solid before expanding. I honestly don't think I ever realized how amazing all of this could be.

Now don't get me wrong, Motherhood is much more challenging than I ever thought possible, but it is also much more rewarding. So much more rewarding!

As for Kalia, she's growing like a weed and doing all sorts of fun things these days. She is 10 months old and started taking her first steps last week. She can crawl faster than Kodi can walk, is very energetic, doesn't sleep a lot, eats a ton, is quite animated, laughs a lot, is a complete goof ball, and is like a bull in a china closet when she plays. She's every bit our daughter, and there's not a single thing I would change about her. Well, maybe I'd like it if she slept a little bit more, but I can say she comes by it honestly!

So for all of the holidays I've missed on posting about, Kalia says :

Happy Thanksgiving!

Merry Christmas!

Happy New Year!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy 30th Birthday Mommy!




and finally...Happy Easter!

Thanks for all of the sweet emails checking in. I promise project posts are coming up next! Hope everyone has been doing well, and I'm excited to 'be back'!

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.

Biggest Project Reveal Yet!

Hi guys!!

After three weeks of a blogging break, I'm back.  Before I get to the big project reveal, I have a few things to share...

First up - the real reason I went on a bloggy break is because we went on vacation.  For four weeks.  Yep, that's right, an entire month of vacation.  Since we weren't going to be home for that long, I opted to keep it a secret just in case I have any crazy stalkers.  I'm pretty sure the only person who stalks me is my handsome hubby, and that's completely fine by me, but still...ya never know!  (I pre-posted my last three posts prior to leaving.)

So, where'd we go for a month?!  Hawaii!!!

Kauai, HI

One of my best friends lives out there, and is awesomely amazing and offered to let us stay with her for an entire month!!  Our timing was impeccable...my friend closed on her home the morning we left, and is moving back to the mainland on Friday.  Because she was leaving the island, she only had a few of the essentials, and kept saying she couldn't wait to read a blog post on her 'amenities'...

So here goes ...

We were so fortunate to have one pot and one skillet to cook with.  While this might seem scarce to some, it was a perfect way to plan our meals, and it was so much easier to clean just one pot and just one skillet.

We were so fortunate to have 4 knives, 4 spoons, and 4 forks to eat with, even if they were dollar store bendy silverware.  They provided great entertainment for mixing stuff, much laughter when we bent our silverware back in place, and made us appreciate the next item all that much more!

We were so fortunate to have one good butter knife.  Those things are amazingly strong.  They can cut fruit and chicken and potatoes without flinching.  Well, a good butter knife and a strong hubby.  The strong hubby might be key to that equation, but I will never again under-estimate the power of my butter knives.

We were so fortunate to have paper plates to eat off of.  It was so nice being able to throw our plates in the garbage, and made cleaning up after dinner every night that much easier.

We were so fortunate to have a bed, even if it was made of air, to sleep on.  It was one of the most comfortable air mattresses ever, and we slept like babies.  I'll get more into why this was so comfortable in a bit.

We were so fortunate to have a friend that we can hold great conversations with, days on end, hours at a time and only stop chatting because it's way past our bedtime.  The conversations we enjoyed without the interruption of TV and internet (she has no cable) were great, in-depth, intelligent, fun, and heart warming conversations that bonded all three of us that much closer.  We will forever cherish that time we all had together.

Here's a few pics from the millions that I took :

Hawaiian Monk Seal on Waikiki Beach, Oahu, HI

Sea turtle off of the Ho'okipa Beach Rocks in Maui, HI

Chris and I at the falls at the end of the Pipiwai Trail in Maui, HI

Poipu Beach Area in Kauai, HI

Seven Sacred Pools in Maui, HI

Red Sands Beach in Maui, HI

Haleakala Crater in Maui, HI

Hanauma Bay in Oahu, HI

So now that I've filled you in on our wonderful vacation, which included wonderful and amazing trips over to the islands of Maui and Kauai, both of which we could afford to do because of our generous friend that we're so fortunate to have on the island of Oahu, I'll get onto the next item of business.

Chris is DONE.  D.O.N.E. DONE with school.  WOO HOO!!!!  He worked so hard for his Master's, put in so much blood, sweat, and tears (okay, maybe not blood...but I bled for the both of us on some of these solo home improvement projects, so that counts for him too), and I couldn't be more proud.  He didn't walk with his class, he decided he'd rather be walking in Hawaii than in Gainesville, FL ... but the sense of accomplishment and pride and joy and relief is all there!!

And finally ... the big project reveal.

A pictures worth a thousand words, so here it is :

Yep, that's me at 20 weeks pregnant (and Chris being a goof)!  This was taken on our last full night in Hawaii.  We couldn't be more excited, elated, scared, and happy all at the same time!  If you go back to September, you'll notice that my posts start dwindling down quite a bit.  Morning sickness and the pure tiredness of the first trimester hit me pretty hard.  I had a few 'do over' days where I didn't get out of bed at all and decided that I'd just try again tomorrow because today wasn't a good day.

That's all over though...I'm feeling amazing, overwhelmed, and big!!!  The amazing part might have something to do with being gone for a month in Hawaii, but nonetheless!  Oh, and the air mattress that we slept on was amazingly comfortable because it absorbed some of my new found belly so I could enjoy sleeping semi on my stomach for a few extra weeks.  I'm still trying to figure out this side sleeping thing!

Sorry I waited so long to tell you bloggy world!!  I actually just officially made the announcement today at work, and I have no idea who reads this blog, so I waited to say anything until I let the cat out of the bag.

The main deets that everyone will want to know...my due date is May 30th, 2011, and we find out Saturday morning if it's a boy or a girl!  Do you have any guesses of boy or girl based on the way I'm carrying?!  I have no idea...this whole first time Mommy / pregnant thing is all new to me, so I'm not guessing!  We'll find out soon enough!!

Oh, and... HAPPY 1 year bloggy anniversary to Kara's Korner!!!  I can't believe how much this has grown over the past year, and I hope to continue and build on how far I've come thus far.  We've got so many projects on our to-do list, that we can accomplish TOGETHER now that Chris is done with school.  And yes, that includes a nursery!!  So make sure you stay tuned to see what this year's fun projects have in store!

Hope everyone's 2011 is going well!  Our's so far is awesome!

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.

And I'm Out!

Well guys, this has been an amazing year. I love this blog and the feedback I get from it, so thank you so much for all of your support over the past year.

But I'm taking a few weeks to do what I haven't done in a long time. Spend quality one-on-one time with my husband. Without school, without computers, without work, just us. Pre-Chris's schooling days, we were pretty inseparable. I'm so excited to take these next few weeks to go back to our place of happiness...being together with no stress.

Our friends Erin and Chris joke with us that we're Amish because we don't watch much TV. The next few weeks is going to be filled with very little electronics at all. Do you hear that? It's the sound of heaven...ahhh!!!

So, while I know you're not supposed to take 'blogging breaks' if you want to make your blog a success, I'm hoping that you guys will stick around to see what 2011 brings us.

I do have a promise though that hopefully entices you to stay tuned till I return next year. I promise I'll be back, on my one year blog anniversary (January 13th), and I'll post a BIG huge project reveal that you most definitely won't want to miss. We've been working on this one for quite some time, and I can't wait to share the big reveal with you guys!!

So here's hoping you a Merry, joyous, wonderful Christmas season, and a New Year filled with hope, inspiration, love, and joy!

See ya on the flip side!!!

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.

Cold Florida Winter

Dear Weather,

I think you're confused. I know you've got a great big job to do with weathering the whole world and all, so I understand some mistakes every now and then, but this is the 2nd winter in a row. Which makes me think I should probably bring it to your attention.

I LIVE IN FLORIDA. The TAMPA BAY area of Florida to be exact. It is NOT supposed to get into the 20's at night, and we're most DEFINITELY not supposed to not get above something in the 40's during the day. I think maybe you're confusing us with some other state. The only thing I like to do in the cold in snowboard, and since Florida doesn't have mountains, I don't really want it to get cold enough to snow here.

This week is better than last, but it seems to be getting cold again, so I thought I'd throw out a little note. Maybe that'll help. Good luck with the rest of your weathering duties! Merry Christmas!

Sincerely,
Kara Hart

Granted, this picture was taken two weekends ago, not this past weekend, but I still thought I'd share. This is how Chris and I sleep during the frigid Florida winters :

In our living room, snuggled up next to the fireplace.

Sorry for the picture quality, it was obviously dark when I took it!!  We actually moved the mattress a bit closer to the fire too...this was just all I could move it on my own...it's heavy!  Kodi sleeps behind us in the living room because he doesn't like the cackling of the fire, but he enjoys the warmth too.

Most Florida houses aren't equipped to handle 20 degree weather, but ours is even worse.  We have no heat pump.  Last winter, the warmest we could get our house was 64 degrees, and our heating bill was RIDICULOUS, so we've just accepted the fact that we don't have heat and deal with what we do have!  We've actually got two space heaters that heat up our bedroom and office quite nicely, but there's something cozy about still moving our mattress out to the living room in the winter.  It's like we're camping cozily.  Just my style!

Hope everyone is staying warm this winter!  I know, I'm a baby when it comes to cold...but I was born and raised in Florida...the central florida area, on the coast.  I think high 60's is freezing during the day...40's?!  That's just crazy talk!

Happy Monday!  Hope everyone has a great week!

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.

New Project

Chris and I worked on a few projects together this weekend. While I do love having my husband to do projects with, these projects aren't exactly the fun ones that I love doing with him. We did his school projects...and since you guys like seeing pictures, here's one of the things we were working on :

Oh yeah, 2 microcontrollers that talk to each other.  I've told you what dorks we are before...do you believe me now?  Anyone want any step-by-step instructions on how to program this up?  Or how about a 10 page report on all of the software and hardware that went along with making it possible to write my husbands name on it?  This picture was actually taken for the report, not for your viewing pleasure...but since this is a project blog, and that's my latest project...well, I thought I'd share!

The other project that Chris wrapped up this weekend that we've been working on for weeks was pretty close to what I do on a day to day basis.  Lots and lots of code and waveforms.  Anyone want to see a screen shot of a bunch of lines of code or some waveforms with a bunch of signals traced?!

Yeah, I didn't think so...just thought I'd check.

It was quite reminiscent of our college days together though.  Chris moved in our big 6 ft table and we worked side by side in the office.  I'm not used to having an 'office mate' anymore!  This is how we went through our undergrad degree together our last year.  Side by side, working together.  When you can work with someone on this kind of stuff, and then still have an amazing time doing all the fun things in life, you know you've met your soul mate.  Things are just better together.

I took this picture this morning...Chris's laptop was set up on the other desk.  The office is in major need of some redecorating...it's on my 8 million mile long list of things to-do eventually.

I called it quits relatively early last night and climbed in bed to watch Sunday night football.  When Chris came in at half time with a glass of wine and said he hit submit on his final report, for the third time in a little over a week, I cried.  These tears were tears of joy though.  He just has to have a telecon with his TA tomorrow morning on his drive into work to go over his report, and he's done.  Forever.  He finished.  He made it.

WE made it!!!  I'm beyond proud of him, words can't even begin to describe all of the emotions and the huge sense of pride I have in him.  He was a full time student as well as a full time employee, even earned a big promotion while going to school.  On top of being a wonderful husband.

I'm not going to sugar coat it, there were so many times over the last year and a half that I thought I can't do this anymore.  There were so many times that HE thought he couldn't do it anymore, but hand-in-hand, side-by-side, we did it.  Chris was always so grateful for all of the housework that I picked up so that he could focus on school, and has been so supportive on all of my projects that I've attempted solo.  I kept telling Chris that he could finish getting his Master's, that I could help, and that it wasn't impossible (even when I really thought it was).  Our undergrad Electrical Engineering degree was a tough program.  I remember phone calls home during college, bawling my eyes out saying that there was no way I could do it.  It was just too hard.

I know how hard the EE Master's program was, and I honestly don't think I could balance work and school as successfully as he did.  My brain turns off after work...I couldn't watch 2 hours of class or do homework and projects after working all day.  Chris did.  For a year and a half.  And he's DONE!!!  WOO HOO!!!

I'll stop my gloating now and get back to work...I did manage to finish up my one homemade Christmas gift this year, so stay tuned for a post on that later on this week!

Happy Monday!  This might be the happiest one yet for me for the past year and half!!

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.

Perspective

Sorry for the lack of posts...I know I promised pictures of the baby shower, and I will post those before too long.  Life got in the way of posting it last week...

I debate writing about my personal life on here...I debate how much you'll want to read, or who will want to read about it.  But this blog is my creative outlet, and part of my creative side is my love to write.  I find it therapeutic.  It's the only way, besides running, that I know how to organize my thoughts and put things into perspective.  So I'm writing this with  no clear direction of where it's going, just a lot of heavy thoughts weighing on my mind that need to be sorted out.

Last week, Chris got really sick on our drive back home from Thanksgiving.  We thought maybe he ate something that gave him food poisoning...he got sick for about 7 hours straight, finally managed to pass out, and after a full day in bed, seemed to relatively recover.

It wasn't food poisoning.  It was a virus.

I got it Wednesday night.  And then I spiked a fever Thursday, and wound up in the doctor's office at 6 p.m. with him giving me his last ditch effort of anti-nausea medicine and saying if that didn't work within 30 minutes, I was to go straight to the ER to get an IV of fluids.  My body ached, I was chilled to the core, and I couldn't have felt more miserable.  On our way home from the pharmacy at 8 p.m. that night, I broke down and started sobbing.  Not just crying, bawling crying.  I don't remember the last time I've cried that hard.  It was just all too much, and I couldn't take it anymore without breaking down.

Chris has a week left of his school, and he needs my help to be able to finish up his last 2 projects.  He couldn't work on either one of them Sunday or Monday because he was so sick, and then Wednesday and Thursday he couldn't do them either because I was so sick.  I sobbed because I felt sorry for him.  I feel the pressure of his schooling almost as much as he does most days, and I don't know how, with the stressful jobs we have, he gets it done.  This semester is his last, but it's been his hardest.  He needs my help, and instead of helping, I took away precious time that he didn't have to give.

I don't like feeling helpless or defeated.  I don't deal with it well, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to make either him or I better.  I didn't want to take away anymore time and have him bring me anymore water or gingerale, but every time I got up, I puked.  I sobbed because I was helpless, and I did have to rely on my husband...my husband who will give his time, stay up till midnight working or doing school, and get up at 5 to start it all over again.

I'm overloaded.  I've got too much on my plate, and I'm not quite sure how I'm going to get it all done.  I sobbed because I used to be able to be superwoman all of the time...and right now I just can't.  And I don't know how to deal with that.

On top of a million other personal things that probably seem either insignificant to most, or are too detailed and time oriented to write about, one of my Grandfather's has been in the hospital since before Thanksgiving.  My Mom has been prepping me that they thought the end was getting near.  My Grandfather has lived an amazingly blessed and fulfilling life.  He's 92.  My Grandmother was lucky enough to meet him, the love of her life, later on in life.  They've been married 20 years, and she's 20 years younger than he is.  I sobbed for her...for my Grandma.  I sobbed because I knew how hurt and sad and heavy her heart has to be.  My Grandfather will be fine...he's lived a great life, had many amazing experiences, and his time has just come.  But she waited a long time to find him...and she deserves to be happy, and I'm worried that she won't be.  So I sobbed.

This evening, my Grandfather passed away.  He passed away peacefully and without pain, which he was in previously, so that's reassuring.  But my Grandma....  My heart is so heavy for her.  I will miss my Grandpa dearly, but I know that I'll reflect upon his quirks, funny demeanor, and various stories that he's told me throughout the years fondly.  My Grandma has to be so sad.  She loved him so much.  They even refused to get any bigger than a queen sized bed because they felt like they slept too far apart in a King.  She liked keeping him close.  Although my heart is heavy, I am so thankful that she met him.  She had 20 great years of laughter, love, and companionship.  She will be able to forever cherish and reflect on the memories they created together, and I really hope that one day soon she can look back fondly on them instead of looking on with sadness.

So...this evening I sobbed for them, my Grandparents.  And in doing so, I felt so silly for my sobbing for Chris and I on Thursday.  It seems so insignificant.  We have each other...work, school, and everything else will work itself out.

And as I've written this, I've stopped sobbing.  My head feels clearer.  My heart is still heavy, but for the right reasons instead of the wrong ones.  Death is a tricky subject to address, and I know I'm not any good at it, but I find peace in knowing that my Grandpa is in a better place and lived a great life.  All I can do for my Grandma is to be there for her and be supportive of this new journey she'll embark on while surrounding her with love.

Thanks for letting me clear my head...

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.

Thankful Thursday

The Cape on the Corner is doing a blog series for the month of November.  Every week, on Thursday, you write 5 things that you are thankful for that happened over the past week.  I think it's important to realize the positive things that go on every week, so I'm joining this week!  Here goes...

1.  I'm thankful that my in-laws made the 7ish hour trip down to visit Chris and I last weekend.  They came down in May, so it was technically our "turn" to go up there to visit them, but with our zero vacation days, they decided they'd take off Friday and head on down.  We won't be able to see them for the holidays this year, so it was definitely a nice treat to be able to spend quality time together before years end.

2.  I'm thankful that I've got two of my nieces Christmas gifts already.  I'm still working on the third nieces...but these two are off the list! And I got them gifts that I'M super excited to give them because I really think they'll like it...which is the best combination!  I love hunting for and finding the perfect gift.

3.  I'm thankful that my uber busy husband that has no clue how he's going to finish all of his projects and study for all of his exams before the end of the semester (and graduation!!! T-minus 4 weeks and 5 days...ya know, if you're keeping count...) took time out of his day of dedicated school work on Sunday to go for a long walk with me down to the old orange and lemon groves to see if any had ripened or not...even though he knew they'd all still be green.

4.  I'm thankful that the weather has been so gorgeous this week, and that it's started to warm up a bit, but is still at a comfortable temperature.  Our heat doesn't work, so there were a few uncomfortably cold days in this home over the weekend, but I'm thankful that the sun is shining and I can go for a jog without being too cold or too hot.

5.  I'm thankful to have such great friends that keep up with and truly care how I'm doing on a daily basis.  I'm not the easiest person to be friends with (I don't like chatting on the phone too much), but my closest friends don't care that I can't or don't call them on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis...they find other ways to keep up with me, even if I'm the only friend they do that with, and I'm forever grateful to them because of it.  I only have a handful of really close girlfriends, but those girls are the absolute best, and they're always there when I need them most!

6.  Sorry, gotta add one more.  As always, I'm thankful for this guy.  He makes me smile, laugh, and reminds me not to take life too seriously on a daily basis.  It's amazing that someone who can't talk can teach me how to enjoy the simple things in life.  He's the best dog in the entire world...and I will be forever grateful that he picked us!

So that's my things this week.  What do you guys think?  Do you do anything special to remember things your thankful for this month?

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to the feed reader to get future posts delivered to your reader.